So, I had somewhat of an epiphany today after a couple of things happened.
1. In Literature class we were discussing the book 1984, by George Orwell (if you haven’t read it, I actually really recommend it). Anyway, they have this thing called the “Two-minute Hate”, where everyone is forced to release all their anger and show hatred for this “enemy” of the dictatorship which is running the country, in two set minutes. Which got me thinking about releasing emotion, and…
2. I got a bad mark in a Legal SAC. Which is my 3&4. Which isn’t pretend anymore. Which nearly made me cry from the stress. -.-
Anyway I thought about this whole thing. The idea of releasing your emotion through another thing. Like how passive people, who bottle up their emotions, can suddenly just burst out in a volcanic-style eruption.
Well, I was in Programming class when I saw the mark. And we had a sub, so it was pretty much free reign on the computers. And I definitely wasn’t going to shed any kind of tear for a freaking number. So I did, what I realise now, is what I always do when I need to let it out without well, letting it out so obviously. I made a graphic. I made a black and white and angry and sad graphic that said everything I needed to say without being all that literal.
Design is my release. For some people it’s writing, or blogging, or running, or reading… Or anything. But there’s always that one thing you turn to when all else fails. There’s that thing that just lets you express every single word you need to say, without saying it.
I used to think writing was mine, but I realise that what I can’t say in words I say with my design. I love writing, but it isn’t something I do all the time, because words are often too…literal. Sometimes I don’t want people to know exactly what I’m thinking. Poetry/songs are great, but sometimes they don’t flow well for me because I feel like I’ve written it before. But design is creation. It’s different every time. In fact, some of my better graphics are the ones where I put everything into. Even if I’m angry, sometimes the graphic looks happy; but whatever emotion— angry, sad, happy, as long as it’s a passionate emotion, I can create something out of it. And I love it.
After this realisation, I started to wonder about my careers again. A while ago, I wanted to do Law, Architecture & Computer Science. Well, I’m pretty sure I can cross Law off my list for good now; for that you have to be passionate about words and justice. And while I do have a strong sense of justice, it doesn’t drive me or consume me like it does for those people that just know that Law is what they want to do. So I’m left with the two options that make me happy. Both have some kind of design element, but neither is as design-based as Graphics design, so I know I won’t start to hate what I rely on so much.
Yeah. It’s good to be back. Too bad it only tends to happen when I’m upset about something.
So my question to you is, what’s your release? Dancing? Singing? Writing?

