fjsjdjkdks sometimes i go crazy.
Highly stressed out, but too tired to do shit about it.
I cant be fucked anymore.
I really can’t.

All these people talking about how much they’re preparing for exams and studying so hard; actually puts me off studying for some reason. I’m sick of this, why does the school have to make me do all this stuff that isn’t necessary?

I haven’t had time to do anything about exams. And all this freaking pressure from everyone.
I don’t want to go home.
I’ll do shit-all at home.
Maybe I should just live in the library. My parents go, “Why can’t you study at home?”
And I honestly tell them that I just can’t anymore, they say, “You could before! How did you study last year?! Blahblah-bs-reallydunnoanythingaboutyouatall.”
Then they keep making damn assumptions that I’m not doing work in the library or not doing work because I’m not a home.
Level of frustration?
I can’t even put the teeth-grinding feeling into numbers.
I hate being underestimated. And being overestimated is just embarassing.

Oh god.
How do I stop digging this hole I have started. Diving into the ground with no brakes.

Sometimes I wonder how I can be so damn selfish; so high and mighty, to think I’m worth so much that I could ask such a thing. That’s how it is when you’re in this state I’m in. The state where you get home and you break. And then tomorrow it’s okay, really okay. Until you get home and you break again.

But why is it so hard to lean on you.
Why do you let me down, why are you not there.

And you, why did you forget.
When I never do.

Why am I always taken forgranted.
Why am I okay to let it go on like that.
Because it’s ending soon? Because I’ll probably hardly ever speak to you again?

Why do I give a fuck.

It can be hard to read a blog like this, I think. As an almost stranger, you read it, think it’s just another bunch of words that can’t be real, then go back to life.

Because peoples feelings aren’t real.
Are they?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 19th, 2011 at 2:40 am and is filed under Blog, Unbottling. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.